Innocent (III), my ass
February 10, 2006 9:56 am Outbursts
Today’s Douchebag of the Day has been dead for hundreds of years, but the echoes of his stupidity continue to ring through the long tunnels of history. Pope Innocent III (buy the action figure here), named as such because the Church loves irony, has been carefully hidden away by the Catholic powers-that-be for several reasons, none more important than his decision to legalize 1st-trimester abortions. That’s right, that 
The actual case presented to the Pope was that of a monk who’d knocked up his girlfriend, then ‘persuaded’ her to abort the child. Innocent decided that, as long as the fetus was yet to be ‘animated,’ i.e. it was less than 16.5 weeks old, it contained no soul, and could be done away with without a charge of murder being brought against the monk.
When did such horrid policy change? When the Industrial Revolution forced the nations of Europe to acknowledge a glaring problem, as well as its obvious solution: a lack of cheap, unskilled labor for the factories. Who better to place into these highly desirable positions than orphans, street-children, and others without the means to provide for or protect themselves? But of course, the silly habit of aborting unwanted fetuses cuts deeply into the production of orphans, and therefore poses untold risk in an industrializing economy. At this point, abortion became murder in the Catholic mind, and the mindless Catholic masses started killing people to save unborn babies, because that’s what Jesus would do, or at least that’s what you might think Jesus would do, if you were a complete friggin’ douchebag.
Alcibiades Would Never Blog. :
Date: March 7, 2006 @ 3:04 pm
[...] South Dakota took another step towards the primal muck of pre-evolution today by banning nearly all forms of abortion within the state. The douchebag leading the charge is Governor Mike Rounds (send the asshole an email, or a letter, telling him how much you despise him for his fascist ideals), a fucking moron who has tried for years to weasle South Dakota’s female population’s civil rights away with various different anti-abortion laws. Thanks to the overwhelming stupidity of enough of the idiots who determine the course of South Dakota’s politics, that law finally passed today. If you’ve ever met anyone who’s worked at a Planned Parenthood office, or a rape counseling center, or a teen pregnancy counseling organization, I’m sure you know how absolutely thrilled they are to know that their hard work is once again being threatened by the insipid pond scum known as the religious right. In fact, if the terrorist anti-abortion protesters who linger outside such establishments for the sole purpose of torturing and tormenting the emotionally vulnerable and understandably upset victims who are forced to pass them on the way to receive treatment aren’t waving their plastic fetuses and screaming obscenities in victory all over the country today, they’re even dumber than they seem. Not to mention that Christians whining about abortion is inherently myopic and just plain hypocritical (see the post about Pope Innocent III). Honestly, it would be really nice to see someone else put the fear of God (sorry, couldn’t resist) into these fuckers, maybe to give them an idea of what it’s like to take what they seem so happy to dish out all the time, or just so they understand what it’s like to be the victim instead of the perpetrator. But of course, such action would be illegal, meaning only anti-abortion protesters and pro-life ‘advocates’ would really give the strategy any thought. So anyway, Mike Rounds…fuck you, douchebag. [...]