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Christianity: An unmuted beacon of tolerance for almost 2,000 years

Religious douchebags have once again managed to demonstrate their disregard for anyone who doesn’t think like them, and this time, they’re playing the race card. In an effort to postpone the planned crackdown on illegal Sunday double parking in Washington, D.C., religious cult leaders in that city were eager to blame ‘gentrifiers’ for turning the neighborhood into ‘one-class, one-race, gated community that shuts people out rather than letting them in.’ What gets me here is not just that these assholes feel they have a divine right to double park on a street they don’t even live on. It’s also that they, as the Washington Post put it, ‘parking in front of hydrants or walkways or hemming in other cars by double-parking.’ In other words, these jerk-offs think they can let someone’s house burn down, or prevent someone who has to work on a Sunday from using their car–I know, it’s hard to imagine such people when you make your money off the backs of the poor and never actually have to work–all in the name of some made up shithead. I try to be rational about religion, I try to acknowledge the positive spiritual messages it provides to some people, but FUCK, these twits make it hard. And when you claim to speak for the same people you have repressed and stepped on and shat all over for thousands of years, just so you can drive to the church your aunt goes to, even though you live nowhere near it, then I lose all respect for what you call ‘faith.’ I don’t believe in the second coming, I believe that our planet is in serious trouble, and if we don’t take immediate, drastic action, we could end life for our species. But it seems to me that, if some douchebag in the sky wants us to make babies like the Dickens, he would want us to figure out some way to prevent ourselves for choking on our own hubristic myopia. I don’t see him supporting our anticipating his grandly planned judgment day with a massive orgy of fluorocarbons, carbon monoxide, and Slim Pickens ridin’ the bomb.
So fuck you, churchgoing douchebags of Washington, D.C. You’re hypocrites, and religious hypocrites at that. I hope someone slashes all your tires, and to be honest, I kinda wouldn’t cry if your churches burned and the firetrucks were blocked by your double parked, flat-tired, and wholly immovable vehicles. Then you can have your judgment day, and residents can park in front of their homes again.

NB: The following was originally posted in response to an article on Anti-Strib.blogspot.com.

Actually, I would debate the statement that marriage is a religious institution, and that a civil union is its legal equivalent. As long as the word ‘marriage’ is used to describe a contract between a man and a women in which the government recognizes the two as a single entity for tax purposes, and extends privileges to couples that are not offered to single people living together, marriage must be a legal institution. Since separation of church and state is necessary to the functioning of our republic, it must be recognized that this distinction exists: the religious institution of marriage, entered into by many millions in this country in various houses of worship, is separate and in addition to the legal contract into which couples enter in their town hall or local government office. I support equal legal privileges for both heterosexual and homosexual couples, and I would have no problem calling that a ‘civil union,’ so long as when I go down to town hall myself, and enter into the same contract with my girlfriend as a heterosexual man, it is also termed a ‘civil union.’ Then, if we choose to be married in a church representing one of our two faiths, we can receive that designation in accordance with the tenets of that faith, which preclude homosexuality. In other words, I have no desire to force homosexuality into the religious sphere, but I also do not want to see religion used as a tool to affect our purposefully secular government.