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Concerned that, in the event of a tragic plane crash hundreds of miles up in the Sierras, or perhaps a misled jungle expedition into the deepest recesses of the Amazon, your dog won’t have a fair chance of survival? Look no further, my friend, than the new pet emergency jacket with food compartments, which premiered at a recent expo in Tokyo. The jackets, which cost between $250 and $425 dollars, means that Fido will neither go hungry nor get wet, should he become an unwilling participant in your emergency situation.

I’m inclined to agree with one blogger who argues that this stuff is a little ridiculous. After all, the same thing can be effected by adding a small packet of dog food into your emergency supplies, presumably in a Ziploc bag to keep it dry. As for the all-weather protection, consider that dogs have a rather long and mostly successful history of running around naked in all sorts of weather, before deeming it necessary to zip up the hoodie on your Schnauzer.

Of course, you could also have my dog, Bonny, who absolutely flips whenever you try to take this sweater off her. It’s not normal, but it’s undeniably cute…

dog, sweater, emergency kit, clothing, survival

The following is a sponsored review of The Bubblenator, a website that allows you to put thought or speech bubbles on any picture on the web.

When you first arrive at The Bubblenator site, it’s quite obvious that it’s a gimmick to drive traffic to the site online-casinos.com–heck, even the URL is based off that site. However, if you can ignore the fact that it’s clearly a page designed to create advertising for the online casino website, the bubblenator feature itself is pretty cool. You can put a thought or speech bubble anywhere in a picture that has a URL, then you can resize the bubble and add whatever text you want. All in all, it’s a pretty nifty way to waste time on an otherwise slow day.

Once you’ve got your picture all formatted, you can export the HTML for copying and pasting into your website, blog, etc. The good news is it’s all free; the bad news is the image modification is done with a Flash app hosted from the online-casinos site, so if the site goes down, so will your image. Also, there’s an annoying bit of code at the end that (surprise!) leads you back to the online-casinos site. Despite these limitations, The Bubblenator is definitely an interesting and fun way to waste some time. Of course, as an ad for online casinos, part of the point is wasted on those of us in the United States, where it’s illegal to gamble for real money (and stupid to gamble for fake money). Until those laws are changed, however, you can still take advantage of the completely unrelated, yet undeniably fun, Bubblenator.

cat, dog, bubblenator, caption, cartoon

Today’s Douchebag of the Day is an entire organization, the American Kennel Club. These people have taken the wonderful idea of owning a dog, and turned it into a highly classed system of discrimination designed to make owners of purebred dogs feel superior to those of us shmucks that got ours from a shelter and didn’t contribute to a huge overpopulation problem.
Essentially, the nature of the AKC is based upon the same ideals of exclusion that such fine institutions as the Ku Klux Klan, country clubs, and fitness centers have popularized in the course of our history. If a dog does not have a lineage (and a $1,500 price tag), it is an inferior ‘mutt‘ and is not worthy even of entering AKC events such as ‘Agility,’ whose dogs are separated only by height categories. This is the kind of stupidity that we commonly see only in such organizations as the National Socialist Libertarian Green Party, or as they are more affectionately known, the Nazis. However, the AKC gives it to us in doses, ladled out by octagenarian WASPs in horridly flashly evening gowns dottering around inspecting misbehaving, inbred bastard dogs, before pinning ribbons on their fat, sweating owners.
In all seriousness, the AKC promotes a disgusting practice when they promote the purebred dog: that of buying a new pet with a ‘brand name’ from a pet store, when millions languish in shelters across the country waiting for adoption, costing next to nothing, and willing to give all the love in the world. Furthermore, since they’re not inbred, mutts are generally healthier and more hearty animals, meaning they tend to live longer, are susceptible to fewer genetic and infectious diseases, and cost their owners less in medical bills. And best of all, none of them will ever have to be owned by the douchebags who call themselves members of the AKC.