You may have seen one of the recent chemistry.com commercials depicting people ‘rejected by eHarmony.’ If you haven’t, here’s one of them:
Ok, so the point of this ad series is obviously that eHarmony actually doesn’t let everyone join their dating site, even though they claim to be out to match you with your soulmate based on ‘29 dimensions of compatibility.’ So, is eHarmony saying these people don’t have soulmates? Will no one love them?
That seems to be the question asked by the girl in the ad above, and you’ve got to feel sort of bad for her. After all, she’s clearly not freakishly hideous, nor does she seem to have any obvious sociopathic qualities. So what’s going on here?
Well, first I tried to get rejected by eHarmony. After their gazillion question survey, they offered to find me my special someone. Great. Only problem, I’ve been in a relationship for five years now. So, what does it take to get rejected? Many people have alleged racism, or that eHarmony only matches religious people. But that just seems like a quick route to getting sued, so I poked a little deeper on Google, and found this: Why eHarmony Rejected You.
You can read the whole article on the site, but the long and short of it is this: eHarmony apparently has standards, and emotionally-broken, committment-phobes apparently don’t make for stable life partners. Here’s an excerpt from the article:
Reason #1. You said you are separated or married on page 14. 30% of eHarmony rejects fall into this category, according to a May 2007 article in the Washington Post.
Reason #2. You said you are below 21 on page 14. 27% percent fall into this category.
Reason #3. You said you were married more than twice on page 14.1 “EHarmony also rejects anyone younger than 60 who’s been married more than four times,†according to the Washington Post article. (The cursed test asks these three items only when you’re almost done.)
Reason #4. Your answers don’t tally, i.e., (a) you clicked randomly or (b) for example, you put “1″ under Aloof on page 1, but checked “Outgoing†on page 6. 9% of rejects fall into this category.
Reason #5. You scored low on the following traits — eHarmony calls them dimensions:
* Self-Concept (how you perceive yourself)
* Emotional Status (feeling happy, fulfilled and hopeful)
* Character (honesty and trustworthiness)
* Obstreperousness (the black hole dimension)
* Character (honesty and trustworthiness)2
* Emotion Management: Anger (expressing negative emotions constructively)
* Conflict Resolution (resolving issues).
* Family Background (happy childhood and supportiveness of your parents)
It may seem crass, heartless, or even inhuman that, in our touchy-feely society, not everyone can be matched by a dating service promising the personal touch. However, when you think about it, eHarmony has a duty to someone equally important as you: the customer they send on a date with you. And frankly, if you’re an emotional wasteland from the fallout of your third divorce, you may need to just take some time away from the dating scene before throwing yourself at some poor, unsuspecting slob on the other side of the internet-tubes. I think that, were I looking to date online, I’d rather take my chances on a site like eHarmony, where the mercenary work of screening out the true crazies is done for me, than on the sappy, all-inclusive chemistry.com.
eharmony, rejected by eharmony, chemistry.com, eharmony.com, online dating
