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Christianity: An unmuted beacon of tolerance for almost 2,000 years

Religious douchebags have once again managed to demonstrate their disregard for anyone who doesn’t think like them, and this time, they’re playing the race card. In an effort to postpone the planned crackdown on illegal Sunday double parking in Washington, D.C., religious cult leaders in that city were eager to blame ‘gentrifiers’ for turning the neighborhood into ‘one-class, one-race, gated community that shuts people out rather than letting them in.’ What gets me here is not just that these assholes feel they have a divine right to double park on a street they don’t even live on. It’s also that they, as the Washington Post put it, ‘parking in front of hydrants or walkways or hemming in other cars by double-parking.’ In other words, these jerk-offs think they can let someone’s house burn down, or prevent someone who has to work on a Sunday from using their car–I know, it’s hard to imagine such people when you make your money off the backs of the poor and never actually have to work–all in the name of some made up shithead. I try to be rational about religion, I try to acknowledge the positive spiritual messages it provides to some people, but FUCK, these twits make it hard. And when you claim to speak for the same people you have repressed and stepped on and shat all over for thousands of years, just so you can drive to the church your aunt goes to, even though you live nowhere near it, then I lose all respect for what you call ‘faith.’ I don’t believe in the second coming, I believe that our planet is in serious trouble, and if we don’t take immediate, drastic action, we could end life for our species. But it seems to me that, if some douchebag in the sky wants us to make babies like the Dickens, he would want us to figure out some way to prevent ourselves for choking on our own hubristic myopia. I don’t see him supporting our anticipating his grandly planned judgment day with a massive orgy of fluorocarbons, carbon monoxide, and Slim Pickens ridin’ the bomb.
So fuck you, churchgoing douchebags of Washington, D.C. You’re hypocrites, and religious hypocrites at that. I hope someone slashes all your tires, and to be honest, I kinda wouldn’t cry if your churches burned and the firetrucks were blocked by your double parked, flat-tired, and wholly immovable vehicles. Then you can have your judgment day, and residents can park in front of their homes again.