[simage=128,288,n,right,]Never mind the existence of evil or that evolution stuff, the most positive proof that there is no higher power can be found in the fact that a particular device has never come to market. That device, my friends, is the Wake ‘n’ Bacon. That’s right, it’s an alarm clock that wakes you up by cooking a delicious piece of bacon right by your bed. Sadly, despite being invented way back in 2005, it doesn’t seem that you can buy one of these heavenly devices anywhere, and I ask you, what self-respecting deity would allow such a crime against nature to occur within His or Her divine plan? Maybe Loki, but I’m pretty sure he’s on the outs right now. So there you have it, proof that there’s no God: I can’t be woken up by the smell of bacon cooking by my bedside, even though now I know, and will never be able to un-know, that it is possible.
South Dakota took another step towards the primal muck of pre-evolution today by banning nearly all forms of abortion within the state. The douchebag leading the charge is Governor Mike Rounds (send the asshole an email, or a letter, telling him how much you despise him for his fascist ideals), a fucking moron who has tried for years to weasle South Dakota’s female population’s civil rights away with various different anti-abortion laws. Thanks to the overwhelming stupidity of enough of the idiots who determine the course of South Dakota’s politics, that law finally passed today. If you’ve ever met anyone who’s worked at a Planned Parenthood office, or a rape counseling center, or a teen pregnancy counseling organization, I’m sure you know how absolutely thrilled they are to know that their hard work is once again being threatened by the insipid pond scum known as the religious right. In fact, if the terrorist anti-abortion protesters who linger outside such establishments for the sole purpose of torturing and tormenting the emotionally vulnerable and understandably upset victims who are forced to pass them on the way to receive treatment aren’t waving their plastic fetuses and screaming obscenities in victory all over the country today, they’re even dumber than they seem. Not to mention that Christians whining about abortion is inherently myopic and just plain hypocritical (see the post about Pope Innocent III). Honestly, it would be really nice to see someone else put the fear of God (sorry, couldn’t resist) into these fuckers, maybe to give them an idea of what it’s like to take what they seem so happy to dish out all the time, or just so they understand what it’s like to be the victim instead of the perpetrator. But of course, such action would be illegal, meaning only anti-abortion protesters and pro-life ‘advocates’ would really give the strategy any thought. So anyway, Mike Rounds…fuck you, douchebag.