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For those of you concerned that your sex toys, while adequate in terms of size and durability, lack the desirable quality of pissing off religious people, Divine Interventions‘ line of utterly blasphemous (and delightfully orgasmic) dildoes should allay your fears. With names such as ‘God’s Immaculate Rod,’ the suction-cup enhanced ‘Diving Nun‘ (stick it to your wall and bend over for that authentic trip down Sunday school memory lane), and the ‘Jackhammer Jesus‘ (a ’savior-on-the-cross’ motif dildo of truly messianic proportions), Divine Interventions’ product line is sure to delight anyone you’d actually want to bang, and horrify the people that secretly only enjoy missionary.
Lest you assume that the product line at Divine Interventions is entirely blasphemous, consider the ‘Baby Jesus Buttplug,’ a product clearly intended to help Catholic women maintain their virginity, while keeping Jesus inside themselves.
Even necrophiliacs or just the morbidly-curious out there can get off with Divine Interventions, thanks to the ‘Grim Reaper,’ a seriously detailed model of everyone’s favorite harbinger of doom…except for the addition of two gigantic balls where his ass should be.
But if there’s one thing that sets Divine Interventions apart, it’s their haiku page, a fountainhead of creativity which allows budding poets like ‘Stacy’ to express themselves in truly human ways:

I just found Jesus
Sinning never felt so divine
He converts my ass
- Stacy
Friday, December 2nd, 2005