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Alright, let me start this by saying I don’t know Faye Moore, nor anything about her, except that she currently occupies the position of General Manager of SEPTA (click the link, it tells you everything you’ll need to know), the SouthEastern Pennsylvania Transit Authority. SEPTA, or as its more affectionately called by the cognoscenti, the SEPTIC system, is the worst public transit system on the face of the Earth. This is claiming a lot, I know, but I’ve been on a few subway systems, and none of them even come close to sucking as incredibly much as does SEPTA.
“How much does SEPTA suck?” I hear you people from the greater New York-New England area say.
Well, my friends, consider the following announcement, overheard at a downtown station: “The R7 to Trenton (NJ) is currently not running due to unplanned repairs on the track. Travelers to Trenton should seek an alternate means of transportation.” I don’t need to tell Bostonians that the slogan we grew up hearing was “T. The alternate route.” So, pray tell…if I’m on the alternate route, and it’s not running, what the FUCK am I supposed to do? Also note, Trenton, New Jersey is a considerable distance from Philadelphia, and it was rush hour. Thankfully, I was heading west, both because it would have been unfortunate to be stuck without transport, and also because it would suck to have to go to Jersey.
I would blame this incident on freak coincidence, were it not for SEPTA’s recent proposed plan to shut down weekend service on several train lines. That’s right, these douchebags were willing to let the hardworking people of Philadelphia unlucky enough to be working weekends walk, because of ‘budget problems.’ The city of Buenos Aires, Argentina, is the capital of a country whose currency is worth less than dogshit, yet its subway system miraculously manages to stay open a whopping 7 days a week.
Anyway, Faye Moore, you’re the unlucky face of the miserable institution known as SEPTA, so you’re a douchebag.

On the interminably long ride from Manchvegas International to the humble hamlet of Sanbornton, NH this evening, I couldn’t help thinking about the horrid dichotomy that is airline travel….on one hand, my flight from Philly to Manchester takes 50 minutes, or 6+ hours less than the trip takes in a car–on the other hand, it took me 5 hours to get from my house to the place I was staying in PA, a savings of a mere 2 hours. Looking back, the stinking train ride took a full hour to transport me a whole 10 miles, the drive home was another hour (45 miles), and the security line comes in dead last (a full 15 minutes for 20 feet). The 50 minutes in the air? 350 miles, and they bring you drinks. What a marvelous technology, rendered almost useless by the inadequacies of American public transit and the paranoia of its citizens. I know people will think I’m crazy, but I’m starting to think I feel safest when buckled into the hurtling metal can. At least then there’s someone at the controls that’s competent.